ideas wanted on how to kill a Mac 5400/200

[M in MN]

Hi,
RE: power Mac 5400/200
Please don't think I'm joking; I couldn't be MORE serious.

I will not be allowed to a new computer until this one dies and isn't fixable.

I can't load a virus or worm, that isn't do-able.  No, I can't take a hammer to it.  And, no, common sense discussion isn't working. It 'runs' or should I say limps along like a one legged turtle.  I could scream, but that doesn't get me any where either.

What can I do to destroy this computer from within so hubby can't fix it and we must get a newer version???  
Please ??
Mrs. M.

[haase]

Install AOL on it...  that's always a good way to screw up a computer.

[Mephisto_kur]

The best way to start is very basic physical force.  The less noticable way would be to give a good, hard yank on the cables near their plugs.  In an effort to destroy monitors that were too old to use, but still worked so my employer kept renting them out, I would pick them up my the cord and swing them around a few times.  Pretty much always did the trick.  A more obvious way would be to start using open cups and mugs around it.  One day ther could be an "accident" involving hot chocolate....  Diet Pepsi works well for this one, especially if you can get the case open and drop the entire can - including the can itself - into the computer.  If the computer is *on* you need to make sure you have a fire extinguisher handy.  The results will be more obvious, but leaving the machine off is safer and just as damaging.  Do not use water., as it can be washed out without damage.

[haase]

Pull the ground prong out of the power cord, and shuffle around on the carpet in your socks for an hour prior to turning it on.

[Stingr]

Stick a paper clip or something similar into any and every fan in the case.  

[M in MN]

Hi,
 For those helpful folks who wrote, let me clarify what you wrote:

"yank the cables near the plugs"  --all the cables detatch from the machine, so wouldn't a replacement cable just wind up fixing the problem.  
"Swing the monitor by the cord" -- The computer and monitor are all one unit, as well as the cords are detachable. If this was a pc, maybe bumping the computer would help, but this is a mac.

"Pepsi poured in":----  uh, that would leak all over.

"Ground prong from the power cord: This requires breaking off the 3rd prong and would be very noticeable.
  Is there another way to shock it into uselessness??  { we have no carpet- hardwood floors}.

"Stick a paper clip into the fan"--- Q: while it is running??? if so, will shock result?  Are you saying to drop it in or to hold it in there until a fan blade hits it and breaks?

Thanks for you kind and patient replys, I'm not a computer geek.  I need ideas that really work.
Mrs. M.

[Mephisto_kur]

Alright.  If you have stereo speakers, take the back panel off of one and put it against the case with the back pointing toward the computer.  Depending on the location of the hard drive, it will wipe your data.  Worst case, it can permenantly damage the monitor (attached or not!)

[Stingr]

The idea is not to break the fan (at least not in the way you are thinking) but to stop it from spinning.  If you keep it from spinning the processor will overheat.  Your computer is pretty old so there probably aren't any safeguards against overheating.  It will just look like the processor gave out.  Just remember to remove the evidence (aka the paperclips) from the tower afterwards.  

You shouldn't get a shock if you do this while the computer is on but it would be much easer to insert the paper clip if the fans are not spinning (computer off).  

[haase]

If it's the kind of computer I'm thinking it is (computer + monitor)...  the fan might not be quite readily available for paperclipping.  I really like the stereo speaker idea.  If you hose the hard drive, though, there's a good chance that your husband will keep fixing it.  The idea is to keep persistant.  Every time he reformats the Hard drive and reinstalls the operating system, you have to wipe it out again.  Inevitably, he will try to go out and purchase and install a new harddrive.  You have to keep wiping that one out too, or he'll think he fixed the problem.

I doesn't necessarily have to be a big speaker...  you just need a really big and powerful magnet.

And this will most definitely play funky tricks with your monitor.  If the screen does't have a degauss option, it's going to be useless after a couple of times.

Another thing you could think about doing, instead of the paperclip, is just stuff the vent holes for the fan full of crap.  If you have cats or dogs, just grab a big ole wad of pet hair and shove it in there.  It will clog the vent and cause the thing to overheat.  Just say something naive like "The cat must lay there cause it's warm" or something.  Depending on how old the thing is, you might just be able to put something temporary in front of the vents - maybe just a flat piece of cardboard - and then remove it after the machine overheats.

[haase]

Of course, don't forget there's always the "accident'.  Is it really your fault if you were cleaning the table and it accidently fell off?  Think about the leg lamp from "A Christmas Story".

Of course, you could always just throw it out.  He might be pissed as hell at you, but there really wouldn't be anything he could do about it once it's gone.  Donate it to the salvation army...  great tax write-off.

[M in MN]

 Hi all you helpful folks
Here is the scoop:

It apears that the Mac is dead.  
Hubby can fix computers, so right now it is on his list of things to do for this weekend.  

I hope he can't fix it.       Keep your fingers crossed!!

I tried magnets, kicking it, using a demagnetizer, partially slicing a wire to the hard drive, blocking air vents while running and then starting poking around to get at the fan.  Finally, hat made it go blank and shut down.

I couldn' get the hard drive out, or was it the MB?  The insides of this mac are not 'open' and easily accessible as in a PC tower.  

Thanks for all your help!
Mrs. M

[M in MN]

Obituary Notice

It has been brought to my attention that  Mac 5400/200  DIED  January 26, 2004.  

Mac is surrived by one elated Mrs. M

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you !!!!!!!

-Mrs. M  

[haase]

Congratulations.  Now we get to the fun stuff...  what are you going to replace it with?

[M in MN]

Hi all,

I got my hubby's current PC with windows 98 on it.  

It works 400 times faster than that wretched Mac did.  

He got a new PC, as he has a home office and uses it daily.

I'm happy.

Thanks for your help.

Mrs. M

P.s.  if I still have this Gateway  PC in 5 years, I'll  re- try some of these great ideas and send this one to computer heaven.  

[haase]

Well, now that you've got a PC, there are definitely some sure-fire ways to kill it.

You could flash the BIOS incorrectly... guranteed to toast the bios chip, and he'd have to replace that, the motherboard, or the whole damn computer.